What is cord cutting?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nCord cutting is the name we give for cutting ties with a person who has a negative impact on our lives. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let us lead with an example; <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If Stephanie has a toxic family member, who tries to manipulate and control her, this may impact her view of herself and the world around her, thus affecting her positive view of the world and her mental health. She may also feel drained around this family member. To save her mental health from the negative impact, she can cut ties with this family member. Removing them from her life and lifting the weight of this toxic relationship. Thus giving her room to improve and grow.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nCord cutting is simply the act of removing the presence of a person from one’s life. This is often done in situations where the person, who has been affected by the toxic relationship, identifies this as a relationship that is affecting their mental health. The person will then decide if they can successfully and happily cut ties with this person, removing them from their life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It can often be useful to use symbolism to cut ties, you can literally cut a piece of string, or rope to symbolize you removing yourself from the toxic relationship. You could also burn or destroy items in your home that may remind you of the person, this can be useful not only for the symbolism but to completely free you from any emotional attachment the relationship may have holding over you. It can prevent you from returning to the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is it always necessary to cut ties? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nWhat if you do not want to cut ties with this person? Is it possible to get involved in a toxic relationship with someone? Yes, it is. However, you must ensure that this decision is the best one for you. It also depends on the nature of the toxic relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For example, if the toxic relationship is one that revolves around traits such as negativity, judgement, or narcissism\/ self-centered behavior, then it is possible that you can simply decrease the amount of time that you spend with the person. This can keep the person in your life, while at the same time decreasing the effect that they have on you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, if the toxic relationship is one that revolves around traits such as controlling behavior and manipulation, then it is unlikely that this will work as well. The person of whom displays these traits will likely still try to maintain their influence over you, therefore making it more difficult to sustain distance from them. In these scenarios, the act of simply getting distance can be either very difficult or may not work at all. Sadly, in these cases, the only fix is to cut the cord. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the latter example, this is where physically performing a cord cutting ceremony of some sort will come in handy. Toxic relationships will often persist due to a hope that they will not always be this way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oftentimes, you have an emotional attachment to the person. When this is the case, performing a cord cutting ceremony, such as getting rid of their things, or things that remind you of them from your surrounding environment, can be very useful in your attempt to cut ties with them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If the relationship does not require complete cord cutting, then you can simply decrease time spent with the person, this can apply to any relationship. You can also decrease the amount of time spent around things that may make you think of them. Spending less time with people who you find mentally and emotionally draining will vastly improve your overall health. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How do you cut the cord? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nBefore you cut any cords, it is important to be as sound of mind as possible. Relax, do this however best suits you. Meditation can be a great way to relax your mind, you could take a bath, or go to your favorite quiet location, perhaps on a forest walk, or sit in your garden for a while. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you wish to try meditating then here are some tips; <\/p>\n\n\n\n
- When meditating, try to sit upright to avoid accidentally falling asleep. <\/li>
- Focus your mind on nothingness. You can picture a filing cabinet, or doors and lock away intrusive thoughts, to keep your mind clear. <\/li>
- Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. <\/li>
- Ensure that you will not be interrupted while you do this.<\/li>
- Soothing music, incense, candles, or aromatherapy can help you calm your mind. <\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n
You can start off by giving yourself a wash before you mentally cut the cord, as a cleansing. Stay hydrated to keep your body calm. It can also help to write down how you feel, you could always write a letter to the person you are cutting ties with, or even just write their name. Make sure that you are comfortable, with peace and quiet around you. Calm your mind and your body, focusing on your breathing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You can visually cut the ties, imagining it in your mind. You can physically cut rope, string, or burn the letter or paper with their name on it. However, you can always perform a ceremony to cut ties simply by visualizing it, visualization can be very emotionally powerful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Whichever way you choose to do this, whether it is by visualizing it, or physically performing a cutting of the cord action, feel the release. Sometimes we may not feel like we are fully released, keep on doing this until you feel satisfied and a release from cutting this cord. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ensure that you spend some time relaxing, meditating, or just clearing your mind afterwards. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Additionally, you can also affirm your actions. You could say something such as; <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI release you from my life, thank you for being a part of my life and my journey. I wish you well on your journey, yet I must sever any ties that do not serve me best. I wish you well, you are free.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nSaying this out loud will not only confirm your mental cutting of ties, but it will also allow you to release pent-up emotions and resentment. Wishing the person well can help you release the resentment and let go of these emotions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n